When I made plans to visit Kansas City, I knew the “BBQ” was going to be a highlight. What I didn’t anticipate is that Missouri is home to some of the best cannabis in the country—the flowers pictured here are some of the best I’ve smoked in the last year.
The featured cultivator is extremely private, and I won’t be revealing many details about their person or their garden. However, this individual meticulously minds their garden as well as garden space. Their subtle-but-unwavering attention to each detail reminds me of a Zen monk—everything is done regularly, like clockwork and with purpose, but without a shade of merely “going through the motions,” roboticism or OCD. This way of gardening (and way of being) really blurs lines between utility and grace, and function and form.
These flowers were grown in organic living soil with plenty of additives and bottled/bagged products. The cultivator keeps a strict regimen of when to add what, and is consistent with the practice. This consistency directly translates to quality in these wonderfully-cured and well-preserved flowers.
I am likely biased because this person chose to grow many of my own strains. However, I would like to think (and am fully confident) that even in a blind smoking test, I would find every one of these samples to be superb. When plants are grown expertly, they fully express their subtleties and nuances, and I personally would rather smoke the most generic strain from an expert cultivator over a rare and coveted variety grown with mediocre skill.
Fortunately, I don’t have to choose here—I consider most of these varieties to be rare, coveted, and grown with one of the greenest thumbs I know of.
This Golden Goat x Cherry Limepop F2* is one of my own creations, and probably my (personally) most anticipated breeding project from the last year. Golden Goat is one of my all-time favorite smokes, and I unfortunately never got it on the blog after consistently growing this plant for about 7 years. Cherry Limepop is the best outdoor performer I have ever seen, and is equally stunning indoors. These flowers are a blend of both parents, but certainly not as I anticipated. There are vague tropical notes of Golden Goat (similar to Island Sweet Skunk), but more prevalent is a fruity flavor that makes me think of “red fruit basket.” I get notes of cranberry, bright red fruit tones, hint of cough drop, and a very strong note of sharpie marker. I even get spicy and bitter notes that remind me of a bourbon-made Manhattan cocktail. The flavor is remarkably more intense than the aroma, and a joint is fruity in the extreme, almost reminding me of a red hard candy and fruit basket through the roach. A simultaneously euphoric and relaxing creeper, this is an all-around stunner that never gets overwhelming, and is likely to be a crowd-pleaser.
Riptide Rush* x Passionfruit Dakini** is a cross I made for fun, hoping for some phenotypes with THC/CBD blended profiles. The breeding certainly achieved just that! These flowers, while beautiful, resinous, and aromatic, hardly can be felt after smoking. They are even somewhat sticky, and some of the most dense flowers from this group. If I didn’t smoke the weed myself, I wouldn’t believe it was lacking in THC. However, I smoked an entire joint of this stuff to myself and felt a mild buzz. It could have been because it was my 6th joint of the day (!), but that theory was disproven by smoking joint number 7 (!) of a different weed and getting plenty stoned. I would be keenly interested in having these flowers tested, as I can only assume they’re unusually rich in CBD. I saw two females, one with a grapefruit and hop-like aroma very similar to Remedy (this seemed to have almost no THC), while the other female had much stronger grape skunk notes (similar to Riptide Rush, with some noticeable THC). They also possessed chemical tones of electric-toy-lubricant (if you’ve ever messed with model trains, you know what I’m talking about) that was really enjoyable and nostalgic. These will be highly valuable to any cultivator after a mixed profile of THC/CBD, or someone looking for a gorgeous hemp variety.
This is the best AK-47* that I have smoked, or at least that I can remember. The buds are dense, and have a shape to them that reminds me of the AK-47 from the late ‘90s and early 2000s in the midwestern US. The aroma here is the best I have experienced in AK-47; it is sweet and fruity, but the character of the fruit seems to shift between a mango&papaya thing to cherry—it is hard to place. Once broken up, there is a cleaner-like tone that reminds me of OG Kush. It is a lysol-like note with just a dash of lemon. The other tones that come out strongly on breaking up the buds are fresh plastic and vinyl—I mean this really smells like plastic and vinyl, and the nuanced chemical funk pulls me in unlike other AK samples I’ve had in the past. This is the cultivator’s favorite smoke of all-time, and I can get behind any AK that has this much funk in it. A happy and uplifting smoke, the grower finds this one creative. I prefer just a bit more punch.
Gorilla Goji x Blueberry Sativa is a strain I traded for with a young handicapped man in Washington State, probably around 2012 or so (I then gifted the seeds to this cultivator). I wish I had stayed in touch with him (please contact me if you read this Chris!) because this weed is world-class. I believe Gorilla Goji is a cross of Gorilla Grape Gush and Goji OG, but I might have that slightly wrong. The Blueberry Sativa used is from DJ Short. In any case, these flowers have a stunning aroma that I have never experienced in cannabis before. Richly fruity and featuring the tell-tale DJ Short velvet note (think Flo, Blueberry, F13, etc.), this weed legitimately offers aromas of a Blue Raspberry slurpee, snowcone, jolly rancher, or cotton candy. The artificial (and unmistakable) “blue raspberry” note is prevailing here, a tart blueberry aroma with added artificial sweetness and a candy-like tone that doesn’t seem like real food (or anything from nature for that matter). The smoke is decidedly euphoric, and I encountered the tingling exhilaration that can only be had with sativas—in my experience, these sensations really only occur when smoking southeast asian varieties, Jack Herer, Mother’s Finest, or something from that vein. This weed is plenty strong, and the character of the smoke is what legends are made of. The flavor is oddly much closer to red apples than blue raspberry, but the occasional blueberry flavor does come through in the smoke. Bravo—blissful Blue Raspberry weed is real.
I regret not being able to smoke more of this Gharuwood aka Chloroform*, and to more thoroughly examine its traits. This cultivator grew four females to finish, and they ran the full gamut between parents—one plant smelled identical to Copper Chem, another smelled like sweet fruity bubblegum and haze, very close to Amnesia Haze. Both my and the cultivator’s favorite, the pictured flower smells like a razer-sharp version of Amnesia Haze with the slightest dash of Chemdog funk on the backend. It is sweet and sharp, like a fruit-flavored hairspray or perfume (it reminds me of a pear-perfume I bought for my sister when she was 16—overly fruity, overly zesty and in-your-face to appeal to a young person), and just a hint of orange creamsicle and grungy motor oil at the end. This breeding was really incidental more than anything (Amnesia Haze just happened to be in the room), but I couldn’t be more pleased. The effect is very strong and heady, bringing on euphoria and exhilarative effects before settling into a more classical stone. I could actually see this plant taking a cup—best of all worlds!
This was an unknown seed that the grower mixed up with some others from Amsterdam. Based on the possible choices, we both decided this was likely Skunk #1. Boasting the best in-person bag appeal of the entire selection, this stunningly-beautiful plant exhibits purple and pink-accented, huge and resinous nugs. The buds are extremely dense and chunky as well, and make for jewels in a jar (or god forbid, a zip-loc). The aroma and flavor are unfortunately very generic, but this herb is plenty strong. It smokes like Skunk #1, and is a happy, long-lasting effect that doesn’t pull in any single direction of experience. Visually stunning and incredibly beautiful.
I saved my personal favorite for last. This indoor Iraqi (Ranya) x 88G13HP* x OGxOGxJaroF2** is the whole package. A stunning hashplant, the extreme resin production as well as density hail from the mother in the cross. The aroma is a balance of both parents though—up front, I get notes of raisin scones and roasted fennel. It is a bizarre and awesome funk. When broken up, the buds exude more classic OG tones like sour-and-perfumey preserved lemon, gear grease, and motor oil. The flavor is like a more laid-back OG, with some funky nuance—the perfume, raisin, and preserved lemon come to the front with hints of industrial grease and tobacco. While all of these traits are nice, the real highlight is in the effects. This ganja smoke blends extreme potency, blissful euphoria, well-being, and relaxation all into the same experience. After smoking a joint, I actually requested we hang out in the cell phone lot prior to entering the airport—I was terrified of facing TSA and airline employees after this one. The almost unbearable intensity did subside quickly, and I am pretty sure I ended up levitating through airport security on this stuff. This is likely one of the greatest indicas I have personally created—the pollen donor from Freeborn Selections.
*Read about the mother of this cross, bred by Strayfox and Bodhi Seeds, here
**Read about my own outdoor-grown version, here (Unlike the outdoor, this indoor is not super sleepy)
BBQ: BURNT ENDS, BRISKET, BEANS
Who could forget the munchies? This is the closest thing to terroir that I’ll be writing about from a metropolitan area like Kansas City. A historical hub for American cattle trade, KC is renowned for its beef barbeque. I had to indulge while there. Everything pictured is from Joe’s, which seems to hold the highest esteemed reputation by the local enthusiasts. I am no aficionado, but it all tasted great to me!
Featured below are ribs, burnt ends, beans, dirty rice, chicken gumbo, and a pork&sausage sandwich.
