@wondermademedoit Sativa/Narrow Leaf Indoor 2020

March 29, 2021 HT/KTP

I have met a few people in my life with genetic libraries that are legendary; they are so extensive, it seems almost impossible to keep them going.

It is impressive to me when the people managing these libraries also flower plants out and successfully harvest. @wondermademedoit does just that.

On top of juggling cuttings, he chose to flower out a botanical zoo of narrow leaf drug (NLD) aka sativa varieties. If you are a sativa enthusiast, you’d consider any single one of these plants to be a gem. Keeping with the metaphor, the garden (it’s full of them) is a treasure chest or crown tiara of these narrow leaf plants, akin to viewing a living museum of some of the most exotic narrow-leaf varieties in the world.

It is a privilege to photograph and smoke these extremely rare and sought-after narrow-leaf varieties, and I am proud and flattered to say they are seeded with males of my own creations.

The males used to pollenate some of these plants are:
-Gelato 41 x (Gelato 33 x Cherry Limenade)
-London Pound Cake x Limenade Kush
-Stir Fry x (Cherry Limenade x Pina)

I look forward to germinating these seeds, and hope to find extreme euphoria and extreme terpene production in the progeny. I am honored this person chose to germinate my seeds and use them for breeding.

Panama Red Death is about as narrow-leaf as they come. The calyxes are highly resinous, and appear stacked on top of one another up the stem of the plant to form “buds.” These flowers appear sinister to me, but smell alluring. They have that sweet, cedar aroma that accompanies some Haze plants. There are also grassy notes, but overall this reminds me of classical Haze—which I love! The flavor is on point too, a cedar-eucalyptus-haze flavor that is unbelievably nostalgic and compelling for me.

Cali Purple Haze did not finish very purple, but strangely has a very purple aroma! This flower smells intensely of lavender, with the faintest hint of grape. I also detect baby powder. It really does smell like a lavender-scented candle, and tastes on the sweeter, less spicy side of hazes—floral, sweet, with some notes of geranium. The effect is bright, uplifting, and keeps me happy and high during the day.

This Mango Nigerian Haze (Mango Haze x Nigerian Haze) reminds me of a lot of the weed I saw in Amsterdam around 2009. I can’t put my finger on it exactly, it just does. The aroma is definitively mango and lemongrass, but it’s that green, zestier, unripe sort of ataulfo mango smell. I think the overripe mango aroma is somewhat played out in cannabis, but this is super bright and refreshing. It almost reminds me of a green mango thai salad. Uplifting, bright, with minimal fog, this is a good day-starter.

Neville’s Haze x Mullumbimby Madness—an exotic treat! Neville’s Haze is one of my all-time favorite sativas, and Mullumbimby Madness* is a strain of legend hailing from Mullumbimby in Australia. This smells heavily of Neville’s Haze, and looks like it too. It has wispy, elongated spear-like buds that scream “Haze!” The aroma is similar to NL#5 x Haze—it is peppery, woody, spicy, hazy, and exotic. Racy and uppity smoke for sure!

*While I visited the area in Australia, I was told that “Mullum Madness” is actually not even a strain, but a marketing tool used to sell whatever was available at the time in the area. It sounds parallel to the terms “OG” or “Kush” used in California. I recall buying weed on the beach in CA in the 2000s and being told it’s “some kush.” This didn’t refer to the strain necessarily, but basically was just a term for high-quality weed. I think that’s how Mullumbimby Madness is used in its local area.

@Beneath_the_dirt Colorado 2020 Indoor

March 21, 2021 HT/KTP

This guy was kind enough to show me his impressive Colorado indoor garden around 6,000 feet. All of the flowers featured are grown in living organic soil—true living soil. Moving aside the mulch layer immediately reveals an abundance of thriving life forms like worms, mites, pill bugs, and more.

These plants are under HID lights, grown with Blumat Watering Systems, and are in truly dialed-in rooms. Carbon dioxide is regulated and circulated, as are most other environmental factors. It is a highly-controlled garden, but with the wild flare that comes with any living system like soil.

It is rare that I am impressed by other grower’s flowers, but this is certainly one such occasion. It was really a pleasure to smoke all of these buds, as they feature the hallmarks of high-grade organic cannabis—nuanced aroma, intense flavor, and high cannabinoid levels!

I also can appreciate the taste of strains—while I like to think of myself as a hype-hater, I admit that I haven’t really been disappointed in the new-school weed in a while. It seems like everything I smoke these days is pretty interesting and enjoyable.

Beneath the dirt is constantly rotating strains, running a mix of proven producers with seedlings—really after my own heart! These are his latest offerings.

Grape Cream Cake (Ice Cream Cake x Grape Pie x Wedding Crasher), aka Grape Cream Pie, is a visual stunner and smokes as nicely as she looks. A combination of modern hype legends, Grape Cream Cake is equally beautiful in the garden or in jars. It is indeed very grapey and creamy smelling. If I were blind-smelling, I would guess it is heavy whipping cream infused with some fruit syrup(s). The grape note is almost artificial, to the point it reminds me of those pre-made crust-less PB&J pockets that were doled out in American public schools in the ‘90s and 2000s. Broken buds have a chalky, sour sweetness that is reminiscent of Fun Dip.

Sour Banana Cookies ((Banana OG x Dosidos) x Sour Dubb) keeps close to its namesake—it is indeed a sour, tart, candy-like strain that has notes of runt candies and fresh banana. I was gifted two phenotypes, one green and one purple—the purple is certainly more visually-appealing, but I prefer to smoke the green plant after some quality control tests. Complex and deep, this flower has soft, velvet-like aromas among the sweet-sour candied stuff going on, and classic cookie flavors bordering on peanut butter to boot. I am pleasantly surprised by this one.

This Gorilla Glue #4 is seriously dialed in, and is really a perfect specimen. The buds are so heavily frosted they appear lime green and white. Aromatic in the extreme, these are sweet, sour, funky flowers. This is great weed to have on your person if you want to make friends with other 420-friendly folks.

Bubba Diagonal (Bubba Kush x Diagonal) is a local cultivar bred by @downwithdirt and named after a very local highway. Stinking of Dove soap bar, Celestial Seasoning’s Mixed Berry tea (basically a tart, high-tannin, berry aroma), and a faint hint of pixie stick, these dense indica buds have huge trichomes that are ready to fall off. My jar was almost immediately coated with gland heads and I imagine this strain would make for a high-yielding extraction. Classic indica effect with a very soapy, tart flavor.

Donnny Burger (GMO x Han Solo Burger) offered by Skunk House Genetics is a superbly-funky flower that will please heads from the traditional market era. It is dark, dank, and perfumey—I detect wet, dirty, old dog, leather, and hints of allium and halitosis. There are also metallic notes that make me think of the Chemdog family. The effect is very dreamy, very stoney, and very inward.

Colorado High Mountain Greenhouse 2020

March 16, 2021 HT/KTP

These greenhouses sit right around 7,000’ in Colorado’s high desert mountain country.

This particular property is situated at the literal top of this Colorado town, making for a particularly majestic scene. The garden in its entirety is really an endeavor in polyculture and permaculture, featuring mushroom-yielding woodchip beds, vegetables and other food plants in abundance, and other infrastructure in place to facilitate the harmony of various life forms. Deer frequent the garden, bears are present in the area, and greenhouse-cameras have caught footage of mountain lions—truly a wild place!

A family makes this property their home, and as always, I cannot help but look at the property as a reflection of the minds and spirits of the people who are living on the land. This land is composed of a healthy mix of food-producing gardens, income (and good-times)-producing greenhouses, and beautiful wilderness—all seemingly aiming toward a better future for all parties involved.

Adjacent to national forest, this land is about as wild-mountain-town feeling as they come, with the exception of visible neighbors (and other greenhouses full of cannabis across the valley). Just like the Carolinas, I fear properties like this are quickly becoming a thing of the past—so I feel unbelievably lucky to be invited and able to experience this Colorado mountain property in the meantime.

HIGH DESERT GREENHOUSE

An auspicious omen of a double-rainbow is visible above these freshly-transplanted seedlings. Rocks from the mountain are placed around the greenhouse to secure the film in high winds.

While not grown completely organically, the featured flowers and plants were grown in soil with mostly organic inputs. They are supplemented with simple salt-based feeds, and these plants will get up to 15’ tall and look like they are in northern California by harvest time. This garden is primarily for commercial purposes, which is why salt-based feeds are used on the cannabis plants. Plants are irrigated using Blumat Watering Systems, and this cultivator enjoys a very high Yield:Labor ratio.

This Limevine F2 has a pretty cool story behind it. I bought original Limevine F1s from Freeborn Selections, gifted them to @planthoarder who then grew them out and made F2s and very generously gifted me many back. I then gave some to this greenhouse cultivator, who grew them out. These smell like lemon-lime skittles, lysol, skunk, and just generally very dank weed. Generally a narcotic, couch-locking type effect.

Laugher is a plant I don’t really know anything about, aside from it being a clone-only this cultivator acquired. It smells similar to Sour Diesel (sour funky fuel) and has a similar appearance too. Everyone who looks at my jar collection always asks about this one—the name must be grabby!

Testa Rossa x Black Lime Reserve aka Formula One has a really compelling smell, certainly a contender for my favorite. Lime rind and other citrus tones come through in a character very close to Limevine, as does a lysol-chemical-cleaner smell—this is like Limevine’s darker sister. Limevine is bright, funky and citrusy, while this one is of the same character, just much “darker” lime aroma compared to the bright citrus of Limevine.

Dream Lotus, a cross of Blue Dream and Snow Lotus from Bodhi Seeds, might have my favorite bouquet of the bunch, exhibiting an inviting, brightly-sweet, fruity, floral aroma. It loses the hazy notes of Blue Dream, but keeps the tart-berry while adding the fruit and floral tones of Snowlotus—a really nice blend. The flowers are highly resinous, with great color accents of purple, green, and some blueish hues. These are also probably the most vigorous plants I have personally grown (I received clones) or seen growing. They were so big and vigorous in fact, it caused a problem for this mountain grower, as they were pushing through the tops of his greenhouses as early as July. The grower was able to propagate seeds outside, veg the plants to the point of taking clones, then vegged the clones up, all in the same season, thus filling an entire other greenhouse with these clones. These plants are so fast and monstrous growing, you can basically start growing them halfway through the season and they’ll yield as well as other plants—maybe better. Seriously impressive and just unbelievably fast.

Afghani x OG is a cross that has been done many times, with as many OG and Afghani cuts. I have no idea which ones were used here, making this weed even more generic-seeming. The buds are obviously all of very small size, so it is a bit hard to judge this one—but the aroma is musty, soapy, with some mild lemony OG tones coming through.

This appealing MAC1 (originally bred by Capulator) is covered in resin with the signature MAC aroma, a quality I place somewhere between chalk and sour milk . This is so visually-appealing, it is almost difficult to believe it was grown in such conditions—7000’ altitude where temperature swings of 60 degrees/24 hours, hail, rain, snow, and 100+mph winds are to be expected. This is a testament to the genetics and cultivator. Not necessarily my favorite smoke, but if I were a commercial cultivator I’d pump this one out.

This greenhouse is mostly full of Dream Lotus, but some other strains are visible. The giant plant featured is the most vigorous outdoor plant I have seen growing.

TOBACCO ROAD CANNABIS CUP: Terroir of the Carolinas 2020

March 9, 2021 HT/KTP

“Land of the Pines”— this lovely property is covered with these southern long leaf pines, as well as crimson clover and vetch used as cover crop.

I have never associated the Carolinas with cannabis, but that has all changed this year. I will spare the reader details of how all this came about, as the Carolinas are not so legally-friendly toward cannabis cultivators or consumers. However, the gist is that I was invited to experience the local offerings from the 2020 season.

Knowing these are likely the final days of illicit backwood cannabis cultivation (akin to moonshine), I couldn’t help but embrace the experience as well as document it.

The featured property is secluded, a mixture of open sun and wooded areas. The cultivator does not plant directly in the ground (although this was practiced in the past), as the plants need to be moved several times through the season. This is done mostly to avoid detection from prying eyes—both in the air and on the ground.

The plants here were grown in full sun before being moved underneath blueberry bushes for a time. They are moved again to a somewhat-open patch in the woods to finish under dappled sunlight.

These plants were all grown in soil and compost with occasional additives. This particular cultivator could certainly be called a graduate of the old school, which I can appreciate. Instead of using the latest and most-popular soil brand among cannabis growers on Instagram or the forums, this cultivator chooses the tried-and-true among multi-generational Carolina farmers—chicken manure and other farm-based inputs. Why pay for bagged inputs that have been trucked across the country and sat on shelves for months, when you can produce your own high-quality inputs for free, and even collect a few eggs in the process?

It is an unbelievably-rare treat to be able to experience homegrown cannabis from a beyond-organic property, and rarer still to experience it from a place where such activities are so frowned upon by the law. Adding to the sweetness (and admittedly my self-perceived “coolness”) of the experience was the fact that this is not simply some untended piece of wilderness with a few guerilla-grown weed plants.

There is a beautifully-harmonious theme on this property—one where permaculture techniques are used not because they are the trendiest new thing, but because they are the techniques that work.

Periodically-rotated fowl runs border garden beds and fruit trees, which are mulched with inputs from the property. The cultivation style here is polyculture to the fullest—many species that benefit human life grow and thrive here, creating an Eden-like atmosphere. Grapes, berries, and fruit trees are present among vegetable beds, herbs, and other useful plants. Most species growing here serve several purposes.

Of course, the small tribe of folks living on this property are accountable for its warm, welcoming, homey feel—what could influence the terroir of the land more than the humans who live and work there every day? The cultivation of land is a reflection of the minds of those who live there, and one can certainly feel the multi-level nourishment exuding from this place. On further consideration, I might be getting these feelings confused with that of the cornbread (made with homegrown glass gem corn, cooked with bacon fat from local, pastured hogs) in my gut, and the cannabinoids in my brain. Or are these feelings one in the same? A philosophical question more than a practical one…

Without further ado, I proudly and gratefully present the:

2020 TOBACCO ROAD CANNABIS CUP:

TERROIR OF THE CAROLINAS

Our work is clearly cut out ahead of us, as pictured at the beginning of the 2020 Tobacco Road Cup.

I present these flowers in no particular order, and will let the reader know about my favorites here and now. I thought the Long Valley Sleigh Ride was the best of the bunch, and my particular favorite to smoke. I thoroughly enjoyed the effect of the flower each time we smoked it, as it seemed to consistently yield a warm glow of well-being and positive thought. I was told this is a high ocimene variety—I will look forward to trying more ocimene-dominated plants in the future.

I was also impressed with the Romulan, and was pleasantly surprised to see Romulan from seed that actually seems like real Romulan. I believe these were bought from Romulan Jake, the son of the originator, Romulan Joe. I love the real deal Romulan—if you don’t have access to a clone, these seeds should satisfy expectations.

I also was particularly partial to my own creations, the Alpine Passionfruit and Alpine Passionfruit x OGxOGxJaro F2. Of course I am biased, but it was really sweet to see the AP so consistent, even being grown in such a different environment. The OGOGJaro cross has a very sweet and pleasant funk to it that rubbed me the right way too.

The Dream Train was quite strong, and I enjoyed the Vanilla Sleighride as well. The Blueberry Muffin was really my only disappointment—I thought it had a fairly generic aroma, and would be a stretch to call it blueberry-smelling.

That being said—virtually all the plants here display some virtues, and I enjoyed smoking all of them.

Blueberry Muffin may have been the biggest disappointment, at least for the cultivator. I have seen Blueberry samples ranging from schwaggy to extremely dank, and this one was right in the middle. The cultivator expressed it certainly was not like the Blueberry he remembered! This sample doesn’t show many true Blueberry traits, like the signature blueberry aroma (this one exhibited vague berry tones). I recommend finding clones of DJ Short’s Blueberry if that’s what you’re after—but of course, easier said than done!*

* The cultivator has since informed me that this plant too performed much better in his indoor room—”disappointment” may be going to far, as the grower went through the trouble of keeping a clone around and giving the plant a second run.

Romulan is a classic, and certainly one of my favorites. This particular Romulan was grown from seed, but exhibits everything that reminds me of classic Romulan. The aroma is there; it is piney, with notes of lemon and lime skittles, and a sweet tone that starts bordering on the edge of what I consider “haze” (possibly stemming from the alleged Korean lineage). It is awesome to see such a classic strain in such an unsuspecting place. This will definitely dent your head, as the name suggests!

Long Valley Sleigh Ride (Long Valley Royal Kush x Tropical Sleigh Ride) from Greenshock Seeds took my pick as the number one winner of the Tobacco Road Cup. It exhibits some of my favorite traits of Long Valley Royal Kush, one of my all-time favorite strains. This is really a wonderful cross and one that I wouldn’t have thought to make myself. The effect for me is something like pure well-being, and just really pleasant and easy-going. I really love this weed and hope to grow some of my own someday—a keeper for sure!

Dream Train was some of the stronger weed in the cup. A cross of Blue Dream and Trainwreck, this sample smelled like classic Trainwreck to me—spicy, some sandalwood, and lemon-lime. A joint was tasty and potent, and this weed would reliably get me red-eyed and quiet—fully occupied with my own thoughts. I have seen a fair amount of nastalgia for the old Arcata Trainwreck as of late. Smoking some Dream Train will satisfy that nastalgia.

Alpine Passionfruit aka Passionfruit Dakini x OGxOGxJaroF2

Alpine Passionfruit x OGOGJaroF2 is one of my own creations, and so I’m obviously a bit biased toward this one. I do think it has an enjoyable tropical aroma; the OGOGJaroF2 contributes something here that is like a tropical flower syrup. There is also a tone very much like the pure Alpine Passionfruit. And finally, a nose-crinkling and indescribable funk that really wraps it up for me.

Holy Black Pineapple surprised me with its potency. A three way cross of Big Sur Holy Bud, Black Garlic, and Pineapple Mazar, this weed really smacked in a joint. I vividly remember going to dinner after smoking a joint of this weed, feeling like I was in a spacesuit and reality was just moving around me. I don’t think I detected much garlic or pineapple in the aroma, but this is some strong weed for sure. A solid painkiller.

Vanilla Sleighride is a nice weed, a cross of Tropical Sleighride and Vanilla, an in-house clone of Greenshock Seeds. Floral with just a vague note of vanilla, this sample was like a less-awesome version of Long Valley Sleigh Ride for me. Nothing wrong with this one, but give me the LVSR! I wonder if I didn’t have the LVSR to compare it to, if I would have ranked it higher in my own mind.

Alpine Passionfruit F2* is one of my own creations as well. Also known as Passionfruit Dakini (until I later realized I probably unknowingly stole this name from Bodhi’s rendition of Strawberry Dakini), it tends to be pretty uniform everywhere it is grown, and here is no different. The signature acidic-floral aroma is present, and smells like it does when it’s grown anywhere.

*The grower reports that this particular cutting is outperforming everything else in his indoor garden, looking like a “gooey hashplant.”

Pineapple Mazar was one of the prettier plants of the bunch. The finished buds, and some of the remaining plant (left in the container even at my time of visiting, as seeds were ripening) were almost black—these are really anthocyanin-rich plants. The stems, foliage, and flowers all display deep purples that give it Pineapple Mazar a lovely aesthetic at the end of season.*

*The pictured flower was harvested prior to the rest of the plant, which was still alive and outside at the same time we smoked this flower. The still-living plant was completely purple and bordering on black.

After leaving this particular property, I did spend some time in cities in North Carolina—Fayetteville and Asheville to be exact. I did get to meet a fellow seed enthusiast in Asheville who was growing some beautiful OGKB (OG Kush Breath) sensimilla flowers in living soil alongside a few tents of his own seed productions.

I was somewhat astounded (the meeting and tour was somewhat impromptu) to be shown this garden, and in such a place no less—sometimes in my own narrow mind, I just assume that everybody who has this as a serious hobby has made it a priority to move somewhere with a friendlier legal climate, like say CO, CA, OR, or any number of the states that have legalized cannabis in some capacity. While I don’t think there is much of anything beautiful about people being incarcerated for this plant, there was something strangely beautiful about seeing these guys popping seeds like plant counts don’t exist, their yards and homes (down to the kitchen) full of grow tents and ganja plants, risking freedom & future in the pursuit of excellent herb.

It’s amazing to know (and to have experienced) that there is a thriving illegal cannabis scene in the Carolinas, that elite clones and seeds are making their way there, and that the local people are breeding those genetics like mad. I can’t wait to revisit the Carolinas someday with legal ganja, and certainly hope to see the local cultivators with local, acclimatized genetics.

Until that day, I will plan to look forward to the next Tobacco Road Cup.

Yantra Seeds Australian Bastard Cannabis (ABC) x Malawi

March 2, 2021 HT/KTP

Origins and Backstory: These definitely have one of the coolest stories behind them of any of the seeds that I own. I received these seeds personally after sharing some coffee with Yantra Seeds in Byron Bay, Australia. I was visiting a few weeks for a family wedding, and heard through the grapevine about a local seed purveyor. After getting vetted over coffee, I was brought to the person’s house to see living ABC plants while being informed of the history of this varietal. Supposedly there are several sub-strains of ABC, and they each have a different name. I was pretty stoned at the time, but I recall some names like Snow White and the Seven Dwarves—the weeds were called something like Bimby, Dingy, Frimpy, and Swirl or something funny and Aussie like that. In any case, they each have some differences but are discernable by their signature leaf and growth patterns.*

*If the reader is totally unfamiliar with ABC, I’d strongly recommend they do some research—it is a mutated plant, supposedly indigenous (possibly just adapted) to Australian climate, and has extremely unique growth patterns that do not appear to be present in cannabis outside of this unique population. @CSI_Humboldt has largely brought awareness of the cultivar into the mainstream, and sells hybrids of this plant. I believe he is working on refining the hybrids to F2 generations and beyond.

These strains are not known among locals for their potency, but they grow wild in the “bush” (Aussie for wilderness) along the border of Queensland and New South Wales. Potency is reportedly markedly increased by being grown indoors under HID lights as opposed to being left to the elements. The plants were bred with Malawi landrace plants in an effort to increase potency, but obviously I am not sure how fruitful the effort has been.

The really cool part of the story is that supposedly these plants were grown and bred by Ned Kelly’s direct descendants. Ned Kelly is an infamous Australian criminal, and if the reader is uninformed I would strongly suggest they follow up by reading his wikipedia at a minimum—an almost unbelievable character! Ned Kelly was eventually hanged by the law, but left behind a pregnant girlfriend. Supposedly his “bastard” son kept up the nomadic/criminal lifestyle in the Aussie bush, and grew this weed wild in the bush for supplemented income. That’s allegedly where the name of Bastard weed comes from, that it’s Ned Kelly’s bastard and in turn his descendants responsible for this weed. Now, I’m sure I butchered some details of the story, but that was the gist I took away after my stoned convertible ride through the ocean breeze-swept streets of Byron, as I filtered the story through Yantra’s Aussie accent.

I never actually got to smoke this weed (it did not finish, and appears would never finish in CO outdoors), but I did want to give it a post as an honorable mention. I grew out some of these seeds in Colorado’s 2020 outdoor season, one in full sun and the other in partial sun through the day.

Both plants were remarkably unusual, similar to one another, and equally as interesting. Unfortunately, only the one which was started mid-season was pictured. The other plant was a male that had to be killed on my own porch due some ridiculously-vigilant and nosy neighbors.

This female displayed some purple coloring on the actual flowers, possibly due to being exposed to freezing temperatures and some snow/hail—but that’s Colorado outdoor growing.

These plants were remarkably slow-growing, reminding me of OGKB, Purple Urkel, Bubba Kush, and some of the other unreasonably-slow broad leafs. This surprised me, as I figured two varieties like Malawi and ABC would create some significant hybrid vigor in the offspring.

Another notable trait of these plants was the texture of the leaves—They were really soft but also brittle. You could caress them and they’d have this unusually soft touch, but they would also “snap” or break in the middle of a leaflet with little provocation. They also sort of folded out of the plant as they grew, similar to a cabbage plant which was weird.

I also did not detect much aroma on these plants, but I sure would be curious what the finished flower would be like if these plants could make it—I wonder how long they would take to finish indoors too.

Overall, of course I am disappointed that I never smoked this weed. But these are some of the coolest seeds in my stash, and some of the most memorable to acquire!

Freeborn Selections Cherry Limepop F2 (Outdoor)

February 22, 2021 HT/KTP

Origins and Backstory: Bred by @meangenefrommendocino, Cherry Limepop is a cross of HGAS Cherry and meangene’s now-retired Limepop male. HGAS (High Grade All Stars) Cherry is a Cherry Pie bagseed. He selected to the F2 generation, and gave me some seeds to look through. I have grown a few other Limepop crosses, and this one seems to lean more to the Cherry side of things. While in their current state these have hermaphoraditic tendencies indoors, I did not have that problem. I had a stable indoor female as well as females outside, and these are the best performing outdoor plants I have seen or experienced. The plants were incredibly strong, had great structure, were high-yielding, and the buds look like indoor. While I could personally use some more experience growing plants outside, these strike me as a pinnacle of breeding. I am almost becoming numb to how consistently incredible Freeborn Selections have been.

Appearance: These plants grow like bushes but with massive colas, almost from the meristem to the tip of each off-shooting branch. The outsides of each plant are definitively purple and magenta, while closer to the meristem the foliage is a pale-lime green at harvest. It is a really cool effect of seeing the plant in person—they look purple from afar but as you get in close, you can see that at least 50% of the foliage is green. Wild! The flowers themselves are dense, popping with resin, and mostly green with some purple accents. They make for some beautiful and chunky buds in bags, jars, or just about anywhere else.

Aroma: Dried buds smell like cherry-infused vodka, and/or a basket of red cherries that have been warmed by sitting in the sun. It is really reminiscent of red cherry skins and alchohol to be exact, while lime and citrus notes are present in the backdrop. I also detect chlorine notes and some bleach, in a similar vein to Cherry Pyromancer. The growing plants have a lot more chemical funk to them, while the dried flower leans more toward fruit. Breaking buds up is akin to biting into the cherry; the cherry notes are intensified and smell more flesh than skin, while bright lime juice and rind aromas manifest among metallic tones of copper and tin. It is more sweet than tart, but there is a definite sourness contributing to the overall character. The broken nugs definitely have the character of high grade weed to them too, it is something bordering on skunk. The chlorine notes are replaced by must and acridity, a note not unlike a basement-stored rug overdue for a dust-beating. There is just a hint of new ACE bandage present too. Overall a sweet, fruity sour flower with a solid balance of weird funk.

Flavor: There are dark fruit tones, some bright ones, and a lot of musk, must, and funk. The dark fruit tones are intensely cherry and cranberry, with almost an alcohol-like flavor similar to vodka. Brighter citrus and lime comes through much more strongly on the aftertaste, but are present in the smoke. Copper, tin, bleach, and medical supply closet (ACE bandages? sterilized packaging?) are intensified in the flavor, where they are in the background of the aroma. The musty basement tones are present in the smoke as well as aftertaste too. Par for the Freeborn course, the flavor is deeply layered and complex, seemingly offering a novel experience with every fresh bowl—I feel like I am always pulling new flavors each time I smoke this weed. There are definitely strains that I prefer to taste (e.g. Limepop Kush, Cherry Pyromancer, etc.), but it is really a matter of personal preference, and Cherry Limepop is equally-deserving of shelf space.

Effects: Cherry Limepop interestingly hits immediately and strongly, but has a remarkably quick come-down as well. I feel it quickly behind my eyes and physically in my head—this is eye-reddening and mellow-out weed, the kind you want to throw in a bong for that instant lobe-floating sensation. Before dabbing existed, people sought after weed like this. It hits so quickly and strongly that it can seem overwhelming at times. However, whenever I feel on the edge of my limits and feeling racy/discomfort/paranoia/etc., Cherry Limepop’s intensity starts coming down and settling into a dreamy, introspective, and relaxed experience. That is generally when I reach for the bowl again—beam me right back up! The comedown is fairly quick, inspiring one to smoke a lot of this weed through the day. Cherry Limepop puts me right on the edge of an awesome high before settling into a mellow stone. Cherry Limepop would also be great for a day in bed with a loved one—Valentine’s weed!

Overall: It’s notable that Cherry Limepop F2 is particularly greasy weed—Freeborn Selections is somewhat famous for selecting for these greasier plants (as opposed to sticky or tacky feeling plants). I am sure this is scientifically and horticulturally relevant, and would love an education on the subject, but I am ignorant to the finer consequences. In any case, this greasy and gorgeous plant is the greatest performer in the outdoors that I have ever seen. It really isn’t even a contest, with the buds from these sun-beaten, snow & hail-exposed plants passing for indoor among some. If I ever stop smoking weed, I like to think I’ll keep some Cherry Limepop plants around as lawn ornaments, or just to impress house guests. This stunning and aromatic ganja is unique across every level of analysis; almost nothing smells like this weed, almost nothing tastes like it, and it has an impressive effect to boot. These plants are honestly so impressive that I will aim to grow some outdoor every year from now on. I rarely grow plants more than a couple times, but this really is a plant worthy of the title “Keeper” for a lifetime.

Boneyard Seeds And It's Deep Too! (Outdoor)

February 17, 2021 HT/KTP

Origins and Backstory: This is a three way cross of some of my all-time favorite indica plants. Bred by Boneyard Seeds aka @filialfeel, this is Deep Chunk x Redwood Kush F3. Redwood Kush is in turn an in-house bred strain from Boneyard, and is a cross of Hindu Kush and Master Kush. Deep Chunk is aka Monkey Balls, and hails from Tom Hill’s legendary seed stock. It is reportedly an afghan strain, well-revered for its exotic aroma, extreme density, giant trichome gland heads (excellent for physical extractions), and heavy coloration. While rare, it has made somewhat of a comeback in the form of seed hybrids in recent years. Master Kush and Hindu Kush likely share quite a bit of ancestry, and depending on which cuts were used, might even be directly related. The two plants are perennial favorites of mine—they are always laid back, easy to to smoke, enjoyable, with earthy flavors not readily-detectable in the aromas. I love the chilled out effect, and they can always be depended upon to put me to sleep. I really couldn’t have combined any more favorite indicas myself, unless the Pre98 Bubba Kush was also included in the lineage (I would love to make this cross if I acquire the Bubba again!).

Appearance: These flowers are almost incomparably dense, and appear like little purple golf balls from far away. Upon closer examination, they almost look like weed wood-chips. The spherical flowers are on the extreme end of dark green and dark purples, and are easily some of the darkest fresh buds I have seen. It is difficult to visually separate each piece of plant anatomy (i.e. pistils, calyxes, leaves, etc.), as everything is so closely put together it all just seems like one substance! While I always try not to shake or otherwise agitate jars of flower, And It’s Deep Too! almost begs to be shaken—there is really something satisfying about watching the round, purple, and highly resinous shapes bounce around a bag or jar.

Aroma: Up front, the aroma is sweet, with heavy notes of grapefruit, grape, pine, and forest floor. Of equal pull are notes of leather as well as leather conditioner; these remind me of an old baseball glove that has just been re-conditioned. I also get notes that remind me vaguely of baking when I was younger—they’re somewhere between Crisco and pre-canned vanilla frosting. I get really strong Crisco notes with this weed! When the buds are broken up, they release more nuanced aromas—there is a sugary sweetness, along with a sharp and astringent cologne-like tone that reminds me of Ralph Lauren from the ‘90s. This smells like classic cannabis I used to smoke in the early 2000s.

Flavor: The flavor of this herb, similar to its parentage, is quite different from the aroma. There is some direct translation—sweet pine and an astringent sharpness are present in the flavor, but it is earthier and more like a traditional “kush” flavor than the aroma. Forest floor/compost/soil are strongly noticeable, and there is a far-off hint of cologne.

Effects: This is classic indica kush bud. The stone creeps up evenly, peaking in 20 minutes or so. The effect is warm and relaxed, very mellowing and chill. It is ideal for a day at the beach with some friends, hanging around on a lazy Sunday, or otherwise aimlessly relaxing. This is happy, pura vida, take it slow and easy type weed. It reminds me of the way you feel on a tropical island beach—what’s the hurry for? This bud is chill and mellow, and I can’t imagine it being an overpowering experience for anybody. Overall, very versatile and enjoyable, but probably the least unique aspect of this flower.

Overall: This plant is visually stunning, with some equally-fantastic bag appeal. The density of flowers is particularly impressive, as is the diverse color palette and ripeness/readiness of trichomes. I think this would be an excellent candidate for water extractions, as well as for breeding with more terpene-intense varieties. This is fairly classic indica cannabis; it is easy to grow, full of color and excellent structure, with a relaxing and mellow effect. The aroma leaves me wanting for something more novel and “popping” after a cure—the aroma is full-bodied and not necessarily missing anything, but it also doesn’t stand out as being particularly compelling. I do find myself smoking this one during the day. I enjoy the relaxing and laid-back effect, while it is not overly sedating or overpowering. It doesn’t kill my motivation, but it does loosen me up. I think the density of the flowers in particular is a desirable trait, and one that modern cannabis seems to have been bred away from.While on its own it is far from being my most-frequented jar, I think And It’s Deep Too! would make an excellent breeder paired with stonier and terpier varieties.

Top Dawg Seeds Hashplant 13 F2 (Outdoor)

February 13, 2021 HT/KTP

Origins and Backstory: I grew 3 female seedlings from this pack of Top Dawg seeds in 3 different environments on the Colorado front range. One was grown in the same beyond-organic, mostly native soil garden at 4800’, one was dry-farmed next to a creek (my oldest outdoor patch), and one plant was grown in almost pure worm castings in a suburban backyard. For these reasons, it is impossible to tell whether the plants are different due to genetics or environment, but it sure is fun to speculate.

I first heard of Hashplant 13 from Jason King, author of the Cannabible. He rants and raves about HP13 as if it is the most exotic flower to grace earth, and his description definitely perks my ears. This is not the clone that he praises so highly, but is a version of the clone in seed format. As soon as I saw the seeds available, I wanted to evaluate the reputation of HP13 for myself.

Appearance: The plants themselves are gigantic; both towering and bushy at the same time, they produce thick flowers on a robust frame. Perhaps contrary to their namesake, they did not grow like indicas (or broad-leaf drug varieties for those who have read Robert Clarke). In fact, these were some of the tallest plants in all three gardens. All plants exhibited purely green flowers/foliage, with minimal “fall color” fading on either the plants or the flowers. The flowers are mildly fluffy, like a Skunkdog or comparable plant—more dense than a haze or pure sativa, but certainly more loose than a modern indoor cash-crop cultivar. The dried flowers are ubiquitously pale, highly resinous, and remind me of some of the older illegal weed I’d get in the late 2000s.

Aroma: There is a sour fruit component present in all of the plants that is extremely pleasing, and brings me back for more. I detect peach, nectarine, apple, papaya, and mango; one plant actually smells purely of guava and sour green melon, and is truly spectacular. There is a strong floral and perfume-like note among all the plants, that really reminds me of the blossoms of each of the aforementioned fruits. There is an astringent cat piss tone present too—one plant in particular was moved through a home (from backyard to garage) and left the house reeking of eye-watering intensity level cat piss. I am not sure how long the smell lasted in the house as I left several hours later. There is a hint of woody spice in the background too, one that reminds me of Thai weed. This light and incense-like spice was present in the Hashplant 13 x Pogdawg as well, and adds a layer to the bouquet that could almost be described as mysterious. “Exotic” is an overused term these days, but HP13 F2 is certainly that.

Flavor: Most of the aroma translates. One plant tastes like sour nectarine and guava juice, while another is heavier on the astringent tones. There is a prevailing tone of apple blossom in all of the phenotypes as well, but overall Hashplant 13 reminds me of sour stone fruit juices and exotic incense. The lighter, spicier, and deeply complex “mysterious” note comes through as well, making for a supremely delicate yet potent flavor in the smoke.

Effects: Contrary to its namesake, this is not a devastating indica, or really much of a stoney one. This is a plant that gets you super high—based on the fluffy buds, stretching plants, and soaring effects, I’d say the rumor of Thai ancestry is pretty believable. The effect is also very long-lived, and I will feel like my head is still in the clouds hours after smoking. The euphoria doesn’t last infinitely, but it seems like the altered perspective and spaciness do! After the almost rushing euphoria fades, HP13 leaves you with a dreamy, foggy rest of your day. This is not a sativa you can smoke in the AM and later recover your day from. This plant doesn’t neatly fit into “indica” or “sativa” categories, but displays traits from both, and is a great alternative to the more potent designer strains of today.

Overall: While falling short of Jason King’s ecstatic review, I do think Hashplant 13 is a high quality plant with a disproportionately small reputation. The aroma is so pungent I would describe it as juicy—it is really reminiscent of juice from fresh stone fruits, or a teenage girl’s overly-sweet/fruity perfume choice. It is attractive in a strange sense, inspiring hunger and even curiosity moreso than the desire to smoke some dank weed. However, after smoking, it is obvious that this is dank weed indeed. The effects give creedence to King’s assertion that HP13 may have Afghani and Thai genetics—this weed is at once soaring and slothful, a bit of an enigma. Personally, I think HP13 would do well crossed to many of today’s fruity designer strains. The aromas could mesh well, and I think HP13 would actually improve on the effects of most modern smoke. However, I haven’t seen anyone else growing this one, and I fear HP13 will end up extinct or in the hands of obscure collectors, rather than in the canna-genetics of the mainstream.

Freeborn Selections POG (Purple Orange Green) (Outdoor)

January 3, 2021 HT/KTP

Origins and Backstory: Grown next to HP13 and New Lime x (Makrat Mandarin x Limepop), this was grown around 4800’ in a beyond-organic setting. POG is a selection from @meangenefrommendocino and Freeborn Selections, and actually originates with his own mother’s stock—to be sure, that is Mean gene’s human mother, not some reference to cannabis moms! That makes POG a multi-generational traditional market heirloom variety, and I am incredibly honored to be able to grow such special and purposefully-kept seeds in my own garden. The (most likely) genetic make-up of the cross is Northern Lights x Oil Can. Oil Can is in turn a cross of Oaxacan and an Afghan, and was being passed around the Emerald Triangle in the ‘80s and ‘90s.

Appearance: Classic greenbud, POG produces relatively dense little grenades of satisfyingly-plump nugs. The plant itself exhibited some purple/pink in the early season cold weather, but did not produce much coloring later in the season, despite hitting below-freezing temperatures prior to harvest. I am not sure if this is representative of the cultivar though, as I’d like to assume purples show up more typically. The pistils are indeed the classic orange color that most readers will associate with nice greenbud of their youth.

Aroma: POG reeks. I mean, it stinks like something putrid, like the garbage that you really should have taken out two weeks ago. Skunk aromas are heavy, as are those of coffee, methane, sour bile, day-old dog shit, and something reminiscent of when I let coffee grounds and tea leaves sit in my own garbage can for an unreasonably extended period of time. It is an anaerobic fermentation profile that is genuinely off-putting—one of my friend’s described it as stagnant pond scum smell. This is exactly what many readers will be looking for, as it is putrid and disgusting garbage weed that is fairly hard to come by these days! However, after repeatedly huffing the jar or breaking up buds, sweeter and more attractive notes manifest. I There are definite tones of watermelon rind (specifically the green rind when the red flesh is eaten away), a sweet-sour perfume note, and burning rubber. It is a note that seems to dance between burning rubber and cheap diner coffee, but is simultaneously attractive and offensive. The final notes I can detect are those in a Hall’s cough drop. It really is exactly like a cough drop, but the mentholated notes are turned down some.

Flavor: Funnily, all of the putrid and offensive notes either drop away or transform through the smoke. Immediate on the palate is the green-watermelon-rind flavor. It is sweet, sour, musky, perfumey, and fruity. This lingers as well, leaving a mildly-sweet and fruity tang in the mouth. There is more of a bonafide watermelon fruit flavor in the smoke as well, almost akin to Bubblicious Watermelon gum. It is mild, but definitively sweeter and fruitier than the dried flower. I wouldn’t describe the taste as Kushy, but it is interesting to note there is an acrid sort of dusty musk present in the flavor too. It is a background note, but reminds me of Hollywood Pure Kush, Master Kush, Pura Vida, etc. It is not typically in the more hyped up commercial varieties, which are so saturated with sweet, seemingly-artificial candy-like notes. It is welcome, but again, unexpected here—it certainly inspires some nostalgia for weed going around in the late ‘90s and early 2000s. Overall, the flavor is sweet and perfumey without being overly so. While not “popping” in any singular dimension, it is still quite unique and very enjoyable, inspiring more smoking for the flavor experience alone. The final note worth mentioning is that cough-drop like note, with the menthol turned down—this is certainly present in the flavor. Overall, the flavor is a watermelon-gum-coughdrop-acrid thing that begs for more smoking.

Effects: I can feel the first effects within a few seconds of exhaling. The onset is quick and warm, producing a relaxed effect behind my eyes, in my eyelids, and felt in my general demeanor. This is strong weed too, with each hit noticeably adding to the effect, taking one deeper in as opposed to higher up. This is warm indica weed. It isn’t too debilitating, but it certainly isn’t super heady and motivating either. This is really pretty classical cannabis across dimensions: it gives a heightened sense of well-being, while also being relaxing and mellowing. This is feel-good herb that slows things down some, reduces stress levels, and generally just improves on the moment. POG reliably gives me a warm and optimistic buzz, one that changes my perspective for the better. I generally feel a heightened sense of gratitude, happiness, and well-being with POG.

Overall: POG is classic cannabis across every dimension of analysis. Almost everything about this plant reminds me of weed from the early 2000s in the midwest US, or at least the bags of “headies” that would occasionally grace my small city. The appearance of the plant and structure of the bud, the mix of sweet-sour-skunk, fruit and putridity, the warm happy buzz—it all really takes me back to my earlier days of smoking. Freeborn selections has a knack for selecting plants that simultaneously feature familiar traits as well as novel ones, really bringing about the best of both worlds in cannabis. POG is an excellent exemplar of this practice; POG offers a nostalgic reliving of old smoke, while also offering nuances in the aroma and flavor that seem entirely new. The fact that POG has been bred in the infamous hills of Northern California for multiple generations just adds to its appeal and mystique, and frankly I feel that plants like this are worthy of the hype that cuttings like “Rootbeer” (which admittedly I have not tried) receive. POG is a fascinating and desirable plant in all respects, and is worthy of approbation from flower enthusiasts everywhere.

Hawaiian Heirloom Genetics Maui Skunkdog x Eureka Lemon (Outdoor)

December 28, 2020 HT/KTP

Origins and Backstory: Bred by Hawaiian Heirloom Genetics and gifted to me by @spacemanspliff808, this is a cross of the famous Maui Skunkdog, and a plant called Lemon, presumably from Eureka, California. Skunkdog is a famous clone from Hawaii, and legends abound about its parentage and origin. It’s extremely popular on the islands both with smokers as well as growers, although I have never tried the pure thing. Knowing nothing about Eureka Lemon, I germinated these in the hopes that I could find some plants resembling the legendary Maui Skunkdog.

Appearance: These flowers are highly resinous but also pretty fluffy. My understanding is that the loose bud structure inhibits mold growth in the highly-humid islands of Hawaii, and it certainly makes sense after seeing the plant finish. Buds are light green, and despite weathering snow and several frosts in the Colorado outdoor season, did not display much color. There were some pink pistils that showed up mid-flower, but these finished a dark reddish-brown by the time of harvest. All in all, these look like some looser green bud from the ‘90s.

Aroma: Fresh, sharp, and astringent, this plant smells like a fresh load of laundry with some extra dryer sheets. The dominant smell really is the exact note of dryer sheets. There are other notes of febreeze, hairspray/sharpie marker tip, aloe vera, and sanitizing hand wipes. It mostly smells like fresh laundry though, with distinctive aromas of fabric softener and dryer sheets. There was a less loud phenotype that had subtle notes of macadamia nut and whipped cream, but the superior plant is the one that smells like laundry coming out of the dryer. Talk about comfort weed!

Flavor: The aroma translates to flavor, and it is a velvety smooth experience of dryer sheets, Febreeze, and fabric softener down the palate. It is seriously like inhaling from a skunky, dank doobtube**—an awesome and bizarre experience! It makes me recall a bag of weed I received in my youth. I was actually concerned at the time that the smell came from smugglers who had sprayed the weed with chemicals, and it made me anxious about potential health effects. It was notably killer weed at the time, so I ended up smoking it. Looking back, it was probably just really killer weed and I was just paranoid. The flavor is really a wonderful experience!

**A doobtube is a cardboard or otherwise hollow tube that is filled with crumpled dryer sheets. Smoke or vapor is exhaled through the tube, thus being “filtered” by the dryer sheets, and minimizing the cannabis aromas—or at least covering them up! This was a popular choice of mine growing up and toking in an outdated midwestern state.

Effects: Very dreamy and very stoney, this Lemon Skunkdog v2.0 is not lacking potency. It is actually some of the strongest outdoor weed I have smoked from the 2020 outdoor season, and some of the only outdoor to stand up against the sheer potency of the Gelato 41 and London Pound Cake on the shelf. This hits similar to an OG or other heavier strains, with potency and authority. It isn’t uppity, but gives a classic cannabis effect that seemlessly meshes with island vibes. This is laid back, no-worries-no-hurries type weed. I could smoke this weed on a porch, on a beach, on a river, or just about anywhere, and contentedly watch the world go by. It is euphoric and happy, and gives rise to optimistic thought. This is happy, good times bud that I really love.

Overall: This is probably the strongest of the 2020 outdoor season, and the aroma/flavor are almost unprecedented in weed (the only exception in my personal experience being that bag of dried flower I purchased in 2007-8). The plant did take an extended time to finish flowering, and I think would typically need to be prematurely harvested most winters. We had a very mild winter this year, despite the early snows. The quality of the flower is absolutely top tier, and the structure of the plants and flower certainly seem to lend themselves to mold-resistance in high-humidity environments. I did cross this plant with Lime 1 x Grape Soda Skunk F2, an earlier finisher, and I hope to retain many of the traits of this plant in the cross. I am glad the weather allowed for these plants to finish, as they are some of the most exotic and enjoyable to smoke of any this year. I love smoking this weed for all kinds of reasons, and really look forward to seeing which traits she passes to the next generation.

Freeborn Selections Lime 1 x Grape Soda Skunk F2 (Outdoor)

December 16, 2020 HT/KTP

Origins and Backstory: Released from @Meangenefrommmendocino, this cross is a blend of a couple legends from the Freeborn garden. Lime 1 is the father to Black Lime (if I recall correctly), and is the ancestor to more than one of Mean Gene’s successful Lime crosses. Grape Soda Skunk is one of Meangene’s own as well, and while I do not know a ton about it, it is reportedly very heavy on grape soda aromas, extremely skunky, and even exhibits phenotypes with high CBD, and low THC—I have even heard rumors that legal hemp plants can be found in GSS stock. I grew out several of these seeds, and pulled out a single female and several males.

Appearance: Equally beautiful on the plant and in the jar, Lime 1 x GSS flowers are dense and fully-developed, with heavy resin content. The colors are highly contrasted, with lime greens underneath purple-tipped, plump calyxes. These are highly appealing plants as well as flowers, and the flowers have a very satisfying and familiar appearance of grenades. These are handsome and eye-catching flowers with a high color contrast, making for a pretty sexy bag appeal!

Aroma: At once both sweet and sour, perfumey and offensive, the aroma encapsulates all aspects that I believe belong in cannabis. Lime 1 x Grape Soda Skunk offers a complex medley that lends itself to both sides of its lineage. Consisting of an intense grape (ranging from Welch’s jam to grape soda to purple gatorade and Riptide Rush), freshly sliced key lime, lavender flowers, skunk, vomit/bile, acidity, and perfume, it is one of my favorite bouquets from my 2020 outdoor season. There is a sour, fermented funk that reminds me of a still-brewing sour ale, or something akin to rotting hops. The female in my dry-farmed patch is certainly dominated by grapey aromas. While all of the above notes describe the plant, it is light on the lime, and very heavy on the grape, perfume, skunk, and acidic bile. Almost everybody is drawn to this jar, wanting to take in the complexity over and over.

Flavor: The flavor is certainly similar in character to the aroma, but has its own traits as well. There is an immediate forefront of sour and tangy grape jam, almost identical to Welch’s. This is coupled with the complex notes of fermented beer and hops. However, these fruitier tones quickly die down into a more metallic kind of grape. The metallic flavor is not like the generic copper/tin/iron that I can generally detect in cannabis, but actually reminds me of the flavor I experience when the inside of my mouth is bleeding. It is that kind of warm, metallic, blood flavor and it is extremely unique in cannabis flowers—this is my first time experiencing it in smoke! It is like a grape-blood-hop flavor—not necessarily sopping like some of the other Lime varietals from Freeborn, but it is extremely unique and complex.

Effects: There is definitely some CBD in this one! Evident through aroma, finger-feel (something about the way the resin feels on the fingers), and effect, Lime 1 x GSS has relatively high levels of both THC as well as CBD. This is one of those really nice blended smokes that combines the best of both worlds. It won’t be your first choice to impress buddies with potency, but it is certainly potent enough, and the character of the effect is an enjoyable one. I actually can get a head rush with this weed, just like with other super-potent varieties, but the effect never builds into the “I am SO stoned” feeling that some of the more extreme hype strains offer. The head rush and feeling of intense euphoria comes down into a chilled out feeling, reliably mellowing me out and giving me a calm demeanor. I don’t get paranoid on this bud, and it’s easy-going smoke regardless of set and/or setting. It comes on slowly and simultaneously in the body and head, but is relaxing and mellowing in both. The calm and more relaxed mindset offers a more compassionate perspective, able to see the world from a place of calm, relaxation, and clarity. I love, love, LOVE the effect of this one.

Overall: This is one of my favorites from the 2020 outdoor season, and really one of my favorites in recent memory overall. The plants themselves are robust and hardy, willing to endure extremes in weather/environment while still putting out high quality, gorgeous buds. There is a diversity of color on both the plant and dried flower, offering a decent bag appeal. The aroma is loud, frequently popping out at guests of mine and encouraging heavy jar-huffing. The alluring and deeply-complex aroma translates to flavor in a unique character that I have never experienced in cannabis before. These unique traits yield an equally-distinctive experience of both high THC and high CBD smoke, making for a wonderfully-pleasant and relaxing smoking experience. I’d recommend this weed to my grandmother. I could smoke this weed on almost any occasion, and be better off for it. Isn’t that what’s attracting about weed to begin with, to be better off than without it?

Gelato #41

December 11, 2020 HT/KTP

Origins and Backstory: A famous clone-only from the Cookie Family, I was given this plant as Gelato 41. I later heard that this may indeed not be the famed Gelato41 clone, which would make some sense—I have smoked the 33 cut before, and while there are some similarities, there are enough differences to make me think it may be another plant entirely. In any case, I will be reviewing this weed with the same name it was given to me as. The Gelato plants are sisters from a Cookie cross of Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies x Sunset Sherbet.

Appearance: Visually stunning, the flowers are completely encrusted in resin and appear an off-white ivory or bone color due to the extreme density of the glossy orbs. The growing plant was large and vigorous, but nothing much for aesthetic oohs and ahhs. The flowers themselves are much more notable—they are dense and remind me both of Gorilla Glue and Cookie plants at the same time. Coloring outside of green is not really present (this is one of the red flags that this might be an imposter, as my impression with Gelato 41 is that it is almost always accompanied by purples etc.).

Aroma: Loud and attractive, G41 is overall like a floral-funky version of cookies. It is less candied and sweet, with definitive floral tones, and some skunky cookie funk. The floral tones remind me of Gelato 33, but the funk is a chemical-like rubber & epoxy like thing that make me think of Gorilla Glue. There is an upfront confectionary note that does remind me of Baskin & Robbin’s artificial frosting (featured on clown cones and ice cream cakes), Blue Moon-flavored ice cream, or powdered sugar. I also detect much more subtle tones of pureed peas, liquid cement, and burning rubber. Overall, the aroma is quite nuanced and complex while still being overwhelmingly loud—an excellent and impressive combination! I would describe it as funky, sweet, and floral.

Flavor: The flavor of smoked Gelato 41 is not nearly as impressive as the aroma, but it’s certainly not a downside. It is like a more nuanced and funked-up OGKB (OG Kush Breath)—there is certainly a predominant flavor of sweet, blandish pastry dough that could certainly be described as tasting like a plain cookie dough. There is a very generic floral element present as well—I cannot place it specifically, but it is present almost ubiquitously in domestic flower varieties. Maybe it is marigold? Overall, I’d say it is a mildly-sweet, floral funk flavor. Nothing mind-blowing.

Effects: This weed is strong! I have been smoking this next to London Pound Cake, and basically switch between the two. They are comparable in potency, but Gelato 41 is a bit easier to manage during the day. While certainly I would not categorize it as functional, I would classify Gelato 41 as less narcotic, and a bit dreamier than LPC. However, G41 is still on the indica side of things, and I definitely wouldn’t recommend it for a wake n bake experience—unless we are talking lazy Sunday! This weed can be downright disorienting and confusing at times, and I certainly would not recommend it if you need to be articulate. The smoke slowly numbs my mind, and I am sure that observers would swear I lost IQ points. I search for words, my short-term memory is quickly shot, and I feel like my thoughts scatter and fragment. This is sort of disintegrating weed; it seems to space me out and stretch me in several directions (as opposed to a grounding or centering smoke). This is kind of like the “alcohol” of cannabis, if that makes sense. It is relaxing and inebriating, strong and loosens you out of your usual MO, but does seem to bring one down in a way more than up.

Overall: Gelato 41 is a contender for both the loudest as well as the most potent weed I have grown this year—however, I think the characters of these traits could be improved on. It has a gorgeous bag appeal due to the extreme resin content, and is easily the stickiest dried-flower I have in my current stash. The potency can be devastating at times, and I’d certainly classify the smoke as medicinal. The appearance, aroma, and potency are what keep me coming back to this one, and have made G41 one of my favorite current smokes. However, the flavor is certainly lacking, being one-dimensional and basic. This is one I bring out when I have a longtime friend visit, and I have something to prove—”look at the weed I grew!” This is beautiful, stinks, and is strong enough get chronic dabbers high. I did cross this plant to several different Mean Gene males, with the hopes and expectations that the progeny will be devastatingly strong, beautiful, and flavorful—true femme fatales! Whether the clone I received is genuine Gelato 41 or not, there are plenty of reasons why this plant should be popular!

Bodhi Seeds Pirate Sweat x 88G13HP

December 6, 2020 HT/KTP

*This seeded flower has obviously been handled more than once.*

Origins and Backstory: Bred by Bodhi Seeds and released as testers, I was eager to grow these out. Pirate Sweat is in turn a cross of an Afghan and 88G13HP, making these seeds a technical backcross, but to the 88g13hp male. I was eager to run them, but only found one female in the pack. Bodhi is the people’s champ breeder and I have been somewhat overdue to grow and review some of his gear! I have grown some of the other 88g13hp crosses, which generally impress with structure, yield, resin content, and potency.

Appearance: Notably dense and chunky green grenades stack on the stout and vigorous frames of these plants. The flowers themselves are classically-indica, very dense and highly resinous. Unfortunately I did not get pictures of the growing plant, which had a very satisfying structure to it. It was the typical golf ball-stacking kush phenotype, but with higher yields and a very sturdy constitution. All green, this plant did not exhibit any interesting coloration, even after being exposed to low temperatures. These are vigorous and have a highly favorable structure.

Aroma: Musty, acrid, spicy, and funky (in that order), the bouquet betrays the indica (or BLD) heritage of this cultivar. Up front and most prevalent are aromas of an herbal apothecary, wet dog, human body odor, dill pickles, and jerky. Garlic and other allium aromas are immediately prevailing once the buds are broken up, and the body odor as well as wet dog aromas greatly intensify. The broken flower is a lot funkier than the dried flower, but retains the must and almost extreme acridity.

Flavor: As is the case with many spicier, woodier, and “kushier” type broad leaf indica varieties, the flavor is distinctly different from the aroma, but equally if not more enjoyable. It is much sweeter than the aroma would imply, and tastes of varying herbs, apothecary, and fresh forest air (not pine, but more of a sweet-wood-compost thing). There is some kind of chemical flavor in here too, one that reminds me of car washes or new-car smell. It tastes like the “imitation new car smell” aroma—it isn’t quite the real deal brand new leather luxury vehicle, but tastes the way that the cheap imitation spray smells. There is something not far off from incense and some of the sweeter, more aromatic hardwoods coming through too. All in all, the flavor is vastly different from the aroma and is deeply complex. I don’t anticipate extracts will blow minds the same way citrus strains will, but the flavor of the smoked flower has depth, subtle complexities, and diversity to satisfy the most discerning kush and broad leaf lovers.

Effects: This is immediate and potent weed! A few seconds after exhaling, my eyes seem to tire and close a few degrees to their own accord, while my face seems to warm and flush some. I am immediately struck that this is potent and strong, but it is also relaxing and mellowing. This is pretty classically indica, making me mellow, a bit extra smiley, and allows me to slow down and let go of other anxieties. This is pretty eye-reddening stuff, and just a few hits has me looking like a stoner from a comic book. I am red eyed, shoulders relaxed, and probably look like I am gazing into some endless inner abyss. A little bit of this stuff goes a long way, and is pretty ideal for video games/movies/passive entertainment as well as the enhancement of physical pleasures like massage and sex. This is really a great example of a classic indica, as it does not make me overwhelmingly tired, lazy, or couch-locked, but I would say it is certainly conducive to less-than-active endeavors. Long-lasting and dreamy, this flower is a nice Sunday smoke, or to be savored in the evening alone or with loved ones.

Overall: Pirate Sweat x 88G13HP from Bodhi Seeds is a winner in every category. The structure and vigor of growing plants is almost perfect for indoor gardening, leading to good yields of chunky, resinous bud on stout frames (with little trimming to boot!). The aroma and flavor are probably my favorite aspects of this weed. It smells funky and a little bit gnarly without being completely offensive and foul. The wet dog smell is not common in cannabis, but it is surprisingly appealing when coupled with garlic, body odor, dill, and herbal aromas. This is super funky smelling bud that almost everyone I show is interested in after sniffing. Many pure broad-leaf drug varietals have a flavor that is almost totally outside the aroma, with the raw terpenes seemingly transforming through the smoke. I have seen this occur in Hindu Kush, Master Kush, Iraqi x 88G13HP x OGOGJaroF2, and other plants with prevailing genetics from the middle-east. Pirate Sweat x 88G13HP is in this category, and the smoke is wonderfully sweet and incense-like, coating the mouth in a flavor that I might describe as, “how the inside of an old Arabian treasure chest would smell.” I have never smelled an old Arabian treasure chest, but this weed tastes the way I imagine such a chest might smell. The effect is very strong, and I’d actually like to be able to smoke more (for flavor and fun) without getting so completely stoned. Fortunately, the effects are never overwhelming and make for a pleasant experience under most circumstances. I have full confidence that lovers of middle-eastern cultivars will be head over heels for these plants.

Freeborn Selections New Lime x (Makrat Mandarin x Limepop) (Outdoor)

November 30, 2020 HT/KTP

Origins and Backstory: Bred by @meangenefrommendocino, I started these plants as seedlings and gifted them to a first-time growing friend to be grown in Colorado native soil at 4800’ altitude. We lightly amended the soil, installed a blumat system, and mulched the area. We also fertilized lightly with Organics Alive throughout the cycle and planted other flowers, herbs, and food crops around the cannabis to encourage biodiversity. I didn’t grow these plants, but I kind of did..…in any case they were grown outdoor at altitude in Colorado with beyond-organic techniques, and come from excellent genetic stock.

Appearance: This particular plant was completely green—every leaf, every calyx, every bit of tissue that isn’t a pistil was entirely green. The buds are a much brighter lime green, and are completely covered in resin, which gives a sheen to the flowers themselves. Trimming is easy, and the leaves that do get trimmed are “tacoed” with rails of resin along the edges. There does seem to be a decent amount of surface area on the flowers, and I would guess this flower would lend itself well to extractions of all kinds.

Aroma: The lime is unbelievably strong in this one! A jar reeks of a lime/orange-flavored creamsicle, tictacs, pinesol (or is that Pledge?), and subtle notes of extremely fresh vinyl. An extended cure has brought out a profile that smells exactly like an orange creamsicle from my youth, but the living plants are dominated by lime terps. The growing plant had sharper and more astringent notes of solvents and lysol, but these are subtle background notes in the dried flower. There is a ton of crossover of aroma between with LimeVine flowers I smoked in the past. I cannot help but repeatedly huff this jar every time I open it—this weed genuinely smells like a lime-flavored popsicle—so much so that I crave tasting it sometimes! A cure brings out lemon and orange aromas, but in general the aroma is lime-dominant.

Flavor: The lime and orange creamsicle flavor comes through intensely in the smoke, making for a candy-like experience. The lime and orange flavors are prevalent, as are the tictac-like notes and a creaminess that anyone who has tasted a “creamsicle” will know. The character of the flavor is great, but I wish it would coat the mouth more—I wonder if this is a consequence of the genetics, or the way this plant was grown? In any case, the flavor is creamy and popsicle like with notes of pinesol, pledge, and lysol, and will keep you packing bowls regardless of how you feel. This is probably the high point of the flower, and the aroma/flavor combination keep me coming back for more.

Effects: Immediate, warm, and thoughtful, the effects of New Lime x Makrat Mandarin x Limepop (this one needs a name!) are to be savored with a day or evening in. This is rainy day type weed—it tends to make me a bit more dull and less enthusiastic in social settings, but it will certainly brighten your own inner world, adding sparkles of curiosity and insight in psychic spaces you previously found mundane. I enjoy smoking this weed before engaging with necessary-but-mindless tasks, like laundry, dishes, cleaning, etc., mostly so my body can go on autopilot while I go on a ride of thought and reflection. It increases my fascination and engagement with my own private psychic life, but at the cost of reducing my outer engagement. It is potent, long-lasting, and dreamy, ideal for long winter nights and introspection.

Overall: The mere existence of a plant that makes you feel nice and tastes like a citrus creamsicle is fairly mind-boggling, and the fact I am not ranting and raving about it should highlight just how far cannabis breeding has come, and how easy it is to take these works of art for granted. If I had received a bag of this weed in my younger days as a consumer, I would’ve wondered what crazy chemical was sprayed on it to make it smell/taste this way. I would have been extremely skeptical that a plant could naturally end up like this. The intensities of the lime/orange creamsicle aroma and flavor are impressive and reminiscent of mostly artificial “food” items, making it even harder to believe a plant produced them on its own. This weed isn’t weak by any means, but I find myself smoking a ton of it just to chase the flavor experience. I will often overdo this stuff just because of the flavor, and find myself way more stoned than I ever intended on being. I imagine this varietal would be ideal in extracts, so much so that it’s actually difficult for me to imagine the extreme intensity of flavor that a concentrate would possess. While this is not my go-to flower, it is a frequent choice of mine. I love showing it to friends because of the intense aroma/flavor, and it’s certainly a novelty strain. The smell/flavor are something I actually crave, which I find interesting in itself. I do enjoy the flower alone, and I imagine there are superior and even more compelling phenotypes to be found in the line (I only grew out one female). I think this has the potential to win cups in extract or concentrate format, and look forward to seeing what other plants manifest from this genetic line.

London Pound Cake

November 22, 2020 HT/KTP

Origins and Backstory: Typically, I do not like to grow hyped up, “mainstream” cannabis strains (can you say, “pot snob?”). I typically prefer plants that have been bred with intention, purpose, and soul. However, I have been eating my words lately with reviews like Stir Fry. London Pound Cake is actually no different; I was not too keen on growing a clone, but @wondermademedoit pushed this one on me, and I am happy he did. LPC is a cross of Sunset Sherbet and an Unknown Indica from the Cookies family. Most cookie plants have struck me as nice commercial producers with killer bag appeal, but lacking some of the finer traits I enjoy in weed. LPC is an exception—while I cannot vouch for it being pest resistant or a beautiful plant, the finished product is of top-shelf quality for the consumer.

Appearance: This is beautiful weed. Stunningly covered in resin glands, the green flowers have a classic and appetizing look to them. While LPC did not exhibit any interesting coloration, the intense resin production makes up for it. The somewhat-dense buds are classic lime green with wispy pistils coming off in typical fashion.

Aroma: The absolute highlight, the aroma of buds in a jar differs from when they’re broken up, which in turn changes when burned/inhaled. Complex and shifting through the cure, at times the smell leans toward candied lemons, banana runts, or a tropical-flavored sour yogurt, while at others lending itself toward a mineral-heavy, stinky, soft cheese, or even cheetoh powder and stinky feet. I think a jar of the stuff smells like extremely stinky soft cheese, dirty feet, and lemon yogurt. The banana runts flavor and mineral-like notes come out when the buds are broken into. There are notes of lemon and citrus, but it is a sweet lemon candy as opposed to the intense lemon peel funk of OG. I was told the flowers would smell exactly like pound cake—it is far too funky for that in my opinion. However, a friend (who has previously worked as a baker for a large food manufacturer) told me the flower smelled exactly like pound cake dough while being mixed. I have no idea what would account for the funk; it smells extremely cheesy and like old feet to me, while other people I present with the jar can’t stop huffing it.

Flavor: The flavor of the smoke is similar but different from the aroma, and equally as enjoyable. The burned flower is full of fruit aromas, and actually reminds me of milk left in a bowl after eating fruit loops cereal. There is lemon, and maybe orange as well as the sour yogurt flavor, but there are also sweet tones with a hint of tang that remind me of actual sherbet ice cream. The intense fruit flavors give way to the dirty feet/soft cheese funk which lingers on the palate for some time. Diverse, unexpected, and enoyable, the flavor is an experience in itself.

Effects: Similar to Stir Fry, this is a hard-hitting and narcotic indica. This has knocked me out more than once, and a friend mentioned it gave him the nods while driving—a bit scary! This is reliably potent, and I don’t think insomnia would exist if the world had access to London Pound Cake on a regular basis. The effect is warm and while felt immediately, the full effect requires some time to fully manifest. I could see LPC being highly valued for medicinal use. It reliably gives me the munchies, makes me want to sleep, and I imagine is narcotic enough to address moderate-to-intense pain levels as well as problems with mood. I am not sure you’d want to use it for daytime depression though, as you would likely never get anything done, and your depression might get worse—this will kill your motivation as much as it will kill your pain! I do not accomplish much in my days after smoking LPC.

Overall: This is some of the strongest weed I grew in 2020, with the only real contenders for the spot being Gelato 41, Stir Fry, and Limepop Kush x Skyjaro. The aroma is enticing (to say the least), and the flavor is always equally enjoyable. While the plant itself is not particularly interesting to grow, it is vigorous and relatively low maintenance as well as high-yielding, making it easy for me to consider giving it another run. This is an all-around winner, and there are good reasons for the hype behind it. However, because of the almost one-dimensional narcotic stone of the effect, I really only smoke this one for evenings in and for use as a nightcap. As far as recreational and social smoke goes, there are better choices to have on your shelf.

Freeborn Selections Cherry Pyromancer

November 14, 2020 HT/KTP

Origin and Backstory: A rare gem bred by @meangenefrommendocino, Cherry Pyromancer is a cross of HGAS (High Grade All Stars) Cherry and Cherry Limenade F5. I have not really seen it grown elsewhere and don’t know much about the HGAS Cherry, but Cherry Limenade (or is it Limeade?) has won the Emerald Cup. Everyone I have spoken to about Cherry Limenade has nothing but good things to say; the terpene profile is supposedly spectacular. I do find it interesting that Meangene mentioned his favorite smokes are the Rootbeer and Black Lime, that the “wow” factor of the Cherry Limenade is lost after having constant access to it. In any case, this is some very special weed, and is currently the closest thing to Cherry Limenade that I’ve personally smoked.

Appearance: The growing plants are visually stunning, and the dried flower has a bag appeal similar to Cookies. The plants themselves are rich with color, leaning toward deep purples, some pinks, and even reds, before drying and curing into a mix of deep purple and a vivid green. These look like some version of a Cookie plant—buds are dense, with bulging, egg-shaped calyxes stacked on top of one another, forming bulbous floral clusters. Resin production is prolific, and the stout, nuggety buds beg to be fondled and sniffed (although I try my best to avoid the fondling!).

Aroma: A jar of Cherry Pyromancer (or is it Cherry Pie-Romancer?) is a trip—a friend (@wondermademedoit) and I spent the better part of 15 minutes huffing a jar, attempting to articulate the finer notes. There are certainly cherry-cough-drop and cherry blossom smells up front, but plenty of chemical funk too. The chemicals come off like a sterilized bandage that has been freshly opened, or like a medical supply closet in a Dr.’s office. There are also notes that one associates with “old people,” or the smell when deep in a retirement home. Also of moderate strength is vinyl, baby powder (or is it baby oil?), and some kind of plastic. Overall, it is appetizing and enjoyable, as well as bizarre, but I would describe it as cherry cough drop/medical supply closet in a retirement home/vinyl.

Flavor: The absolute high point of the flower, Cherry Pyromancer’s flavor is something to be completely savored and beheld. The aroma translates entirely to flavor, but the smoke is even more nuanced on the palate. The first detectable notes are of cherry blossom, cough drop, and vinyl. These quickly give way to an intense flavor of clorox bleach that completely coats the mouth. While most non-smokers probably find the assumed flavor of bleach abhorrent, it is really something amazing and delicious. The bleach flavor, equal in strength to the sterilized-bandage flavor, dominates the palate before returning to the cherry blossom/vinyl combo. There are hints of the dirty feet/retirement home, but these are put in the far background. Cherry Pyromancer has one of the most intense and nuanced flavors I have ever experienced in cannabis, and it will keep you smoking long after you’re stoned.

Effects: The effects of Cherry Pyromancer are immediate and intense. I consistently get a facial blush, and flushing of blood to the surface of my skin when I smoke this one—wild! I tend to puff this one until I feel almost like I smoked too much weed, and start to feel somewhat uncomfortable. After riding this feeling for just a few minutes, it generally comes down into a very pleasant and relaxing state of being. While the intense peak is relatively short-lived, the overall stone is not. Cherry Pyromancer had me super high for a little bit, and moderately high for a while to follow. It’s a very warm, happy, relaxing effect for the majority of the experience.

Overall: This is one of the most interesting flavors of cannabis I have come across. A bizarre mix of cherry blossom, sterilized bandage, bleach, and old folk funk, Cherry Pyromancer is incredibly exotic and compelling. The stone is not the most impressive in the world, but I didn’t think it was lacking either—it certainly is enjoyable, and will hit harder than many other plants I’ve smoked that have won cups. The flavor really coats the mouth in a way that makes you think, there are levels to this. The intensity and complexities of the aroma and flavor make Cherry Pyromancer a plant I will be breeding with in the future, and will certainly want to always have around. A keeper for sure.

Bodhi Seeds Pura Vida (Outdoor)

August 20, 2020 HT/KTP

Pura Vida flowers grown outdoor are a bit larfy, but also a hash-maker’s dream.

Origins and Backstory: Pura Vida is a cross of Hollywood Pure Kush and Bodhi’s famed Appalachia (Green Crack x Tres Dawg, originally bred by High and Lonesome) male. Bodhi describes it as good life bud (a loose translation of the name), good herb to pull out with friends, to enjoy good vibes with, to be social around, etc. I personally grew these flowers outdoor organically, sun-grown and earth-grown, at 5300’ on the front range of Colorado.. This clone was selected by @bocobeans.

Appearance: While I can only speak for outdoor samples (I have seen prettier indoor), the appearance of Pura Vida is middle-of-the-road, high-quality green bud. The flowers didn’t turn a tinge of purple, despite very cold outside temperatures, and daily swings ranging up to 40 degrees. The resin production is high, and the pistils on the plant were really impressive while she was growing. Mostly vibrant oranges, but the occasional purple or pink pistil would manifest itself on these flowers. Sadly, all of the pistils have died back to a dull brown after curing. The structure is full and chunky, but the trim on this outdoor flower was not particularly easy. Overall, this looks like high quality green bud not to be scoffed at, but it also won’t be impressing any loyal fans of MAC, Gorilla Glue, etc..

Aroma: Probably the least-impressive aspect of this flower, the aroma is indeed very soft and feminine as described by Bodhi. However, it is disappointingly subtle. It almost smells like generic cannabis being cooked in butter or something, and is relatively subdued when one shoves their nose in a jar. It is a light skunky, soft aroma that reminds me of a turned-down Pure Kush. Up front is a citrusy (mostly orange) marshmallow aroma that is desirable, but the marshmallow isn’t as pronounced as in Pure Kush. There are some other spice-like hashy notes I usually associate with middle-eastern broad leaf varieties. While trying to nail down exactly what makes this flower “feminine,” I can notice tones that remind me of feminine hygiene products like hand lotion, facial sunscreen, incense, and vanilla. It is an enjoyable aroma, but very mellow. Strangely, this flower is extremely skunky from across the room! The notes are just much more subtle close up.

Flavor: The flavor is actually pretty nice, and reminds me of classic cannabis. It reminds me of some of the first bags of decent weed I had in my youth. There are earthy, typical “Kush” flavors that are like tasting temple incense. The flavor is floral with just a hint of orange citrus, but there are strong, bitter botanical notes layered in as well. Overall, I’d say the flavor is surprisingly complex considering the more muted aroma. However, I have noticed this as a trend with some of the more subtle, incense-like broad leafed varieties—sometimes the flavor is surprisingly spectacular!

Effects: The effects are stand-out, especially compared to the other aspects of the flower. This is potent indica herb. Bodhi pegs it as a laid back, chill smoke—while this is on par with the aroma, I find the smoke to be pretty strong! The character of the effect is easy-going for the most part, but it is pretty potent and long-lasting. A bowl in the morning will keep me feeling laid back and mellow into the early afternoon. The smoke is happy, relaxed, and ideal for chilling out—in the mountains (or on the beach, but we are short on those in Colorado), with friends, or home alone with a movie or video game. This is happy and easy going herb! However, I do find that if I smoke this one a few times in the same day, the narcotic aspects compound, and what was a nice, relaxing smoke in the AM can become debilitating and make me extremely lazy later on in the day. Overall, this is a versatile flower that is relaxed and mellow without sacrificing potency. This is classic SoCal beach weed.

Overall: There is nothing lacking here. Pura Vida is enjoyable on every level of analysis. However, my seed collection is too extensive and my list of strains “on deck” is too long to grow middle-of-the-road varieties. Pura Vida is nice, versatile, and hard to go wrong most of the time. It’s great to pull out with buddies, or home alone. It’s great to smoke in the mountains on hikes, and enjoyable for podcasts or nights in. However, it does not stand out in any one dimension, and is really pretty typical decent-grade cannabis. There’s really nothing particular to dislike here, but I have no problem letting this plant go to make room for more exotic varietals in my garden and life!

DJ Short Flo

August 12, 2020 HT/KTP

Origins and Backstory: Bred by DJ Short, Flo is a clone that has been around Colorado for many years. She has similar ancestry to Blueberry, but was bred more for her active effects as opposed to Blueberry’s couchlocking stone. She is a mix of Highland Thai, Chocolate Thai, Mexican, and Afghan genetics. The more I see modern varieties, the more I appreciate the work of breeders like DJ Short. He took those old landrace genetics, and selected some very unique lines off of his creations. Flo is an inbred line of what DJ Short refers to as his “Floral line.” F-13 is also part of this line. He has really created some of the more unique gems over the years! This flower was grown beyond organically by an extremely talented friend of mine at an elevation over 7,000’.

Appearance: I frequently joke with friends that DJ Short was growing the original cookies. While not as dense as more “modern” Cookie strains, Flo is consistently a dappled dark purple/dark green flower with prominent pistils and trichomes—really it’s an all around winner as far as appearances go, and a bag of Flo always looks nice, seemingly regardless of how it was grown. This is pretty, colorful, frosty, flower with solid bag appeal—especially for a strain from the ‘90s!

Aroma: Perhaps predictably, Flo smells fairly floral with noticeable notes of geranium, rose, and an almost-mysterious incense note that smells like an exotic wood or something. It is feminine, soft, sweet, with that signature DJ Short floral/berry/musk in it. My experience with the Blueberry, Flo, and F-13 are that they all have a common undertone that is a telltale marker of DJ Short gear. This is certainly enjoyable and unique-smelling weed, and one that older heads describe as smelling like an old-school Nepalese temple ball. There is a sort of sweet, floral note that frequently comes out in my home-made temple balls (although I’m not old-school enough to have smoked a genuine Nepali temple ball). The aroma is another high point of Flo. It is far removed and unlike modern cannabis, but equally if not more enjoyable.

Flavor: Following closely behind the aroma (as well as the namesake), the flavor is floral, sweet, and with fruity tones reminding me of berries, incense, and musk. The musk, berries, and floral tones are most prominent in the flavor, but really make for a unique taste. If this strain weren’t so ubiquitous at Colorado dispensaries the last 10-12 years, it would probably astound me. It is very unique and certainly from a wholly other vein than the current OG, Chem, and Cookie trends. It tastes like some kind of alien fruit, or a hybrid between fruit and flowers. It is enticing, enjoyable, signature DJ Short (anyone who has smelled his berry-musk note can instantly recognize it again), and something to look forward to with this flower.

Effects: The effect of Flo tends to either really drive this one home as a winner, or turns people off who vow never to smoke it again. On a clean head, the effect is uplifting, happy, euphoric, and relatively motivational/functional. In my own experience however, this does not mean “light” or the opposite of potent! It is still strong smoke that will get me plenty high, and even makes me paranoid/anxious if I smoke too much. If I overdo Flo, I enter a really dreamy state and the effect loses a lot of its motivating factor. However, there is a “softness” to the effect that tends to turn off OG and Chem lovers who will tell you Flo is mid-grade flower. I see their point—in the evening when I am looking for strength in my smoke, the Flo will not deliver the punch that seasoned tokers are looking for. However, it is enjoyable and beautiful smoke that tends to brighten a mood and day, and strong enough that you don’t need to double up your bowl in the morning (as I know some folks do with lighter sativas).

Overall: Flo is a legend on the front range of Colorado. She has been here longer than I, and when I first showed up to the scene, every cultivator, dispensary, caregiver, and really almost every garden I encountered had a cutting of Flo. This plant is easy to grow, aesthetically pleasing (both alive and dried/cured), has an incredible history, as well as unique flavor/aroma profile. The effect is ideal for outdoorsy and active people, which would explain its prevalence here in Colorado. The DJ Short signature floral-berry-musk is as strong as ever in this one, and the only other plant I have encountered that exemplifies the notes in a comparable way is Blueberry. F-13 comes close as well, but nothing brings “DJ Short” to my own mind more than an aromatic bag of Flo or Blueberry. This is (and will be) nostalgic smoke for many, but I fear the more hype-based and commercial-oriented cultivars will soon make this cutting a thing of the past.

Higher Thought (Iraqi x 88G13HP) x (OGxOGxJaro F2) (Outdoor)

July 9, 2020 HT/KTP

This generic greenbud has deceivingly-strong stone.

Origins and Backstory: This cross has quite the pedigree, and is an impressive collaborative effort of many of my favorite breeders. These plants have been influenced by countless middle eastern farmers, Bodhi Seeds, Strayfox Gardenz, Freeborn Selections, NdNGuy (from forums if you go deep), and now myself. The full lineage goes as follows:
(Iraqi Ranya x (1988 G13 x Hashplant)) x (((OG S1) x Jaro) F2)
Iraqi x 88G13HP has also been referred to as Deep Line Alchemy #6 or DLA6 as well as Persian Delight. I grew these plants in the Colorado sun and soil, but did amend the earth with compost King Stropharia mycelium. I made a number of personal selections to create this strain, and it is really satisfying to start to see my breeding work build on itself.

Appearance: These plants grew fairly stout, but sent out the occasional cola like in the above-picture. They were somewhat typical indica-like plants, but the leaves were not as broad and chubby as one might expect. The buds were actually a bit on the leafy side, and trimming was mildly annoying. the buds have excellent trichome coverage and a moderately diverse palate of greens, but doesn’t extend too far beyond that. They buds themselves are structured like the plants; they are more round, short, dense, and full than they are elongated or spear-like. For the most part, finished flower looks like somewhat classical greenbud. There is a hint of OG structure to them.

Aroma: These are some of the best-smelling plants of my 2019 outdoor season. The females are fairly diverse, but the phenotypes definitely display a lot of the Persian Delight mom. There are many dough-like confectionery and bakery aromas, reminding me of fermenting sourdough, powdered sugar, funnel cake, caramel, pita bread, and scones. There is a chocolate-chip aroma as well, and on top of it all is a dank, super-skunky aroma that is classically-dank cannabis turned up to 10. This is creamy-smelling weed, with notes that remind me both of sour cream/dairy/lactobacillus, as well as sharper and more artificial notes like barbasol and shaving cream. I can detect dove soap, shaving cream, sunscreen, tea tree oil, hairspray, and silly string. The intensely-dank, earthy, barbasol phenotypes are my favorite. It is that super skunky, soapy, extremely “dank” aroma. Some plants lean more OG, with sour musky tones coming through with some gasoline. One of the phenotypes has heavy coffee aromas with mild hints of leather, cologne, and men’s locker room that brings Bubba Kush to mind. There is a really deep pool of individual notes to pull from here, but I honestly think I could probably tell that this is deep, dark, dank indica just from the aroma alone. I was surprised by the diversity of phenotypes, but they are all enjoyable.

As an added note, I need to mention that I previously thought these flowers were Sky Cuddler Double Kush. They are not. I had prevoiusly reviewed the SCDK as having barbasol and shaving cream aromas, but it has become clear that those flowers were the Persian Delight x OGOGJaro F2.

Flavor: The flavor of this flower rubs me just the right way, and I occasionally smoke this flower for the flavor sensation alone. It is simply incredible, and coats the mouth completely. Just like the aroma, there are a diversity of flavors depending on the phenotype. My favorite flavor was by far the bubba-esque phenotype. The flavor is nothing new; but it is the most intensely earthy, kush, cologne/leather/coffee/suede flavor that leaves a sensation on the palate for an extended period. The more fuel-like flavors tasted more like a typical OG or Diesel plant, and were enjoyable but nothing like the earthy plant. The doughy phenotypes actually tasted better than the more aromatic OG plants, with more of the stranger, more subtle middle eastern Kush coming through. This is definitely a high point, and I frequently get into trouble smoking too much of this weed for the flavor alone.

Effects: This is some incredibly narcotic stuff, and will almost immediately start nudging me (or perhaps more accurately, shoving me) toward sleep. I frequently get the nods after, or even during my sessions with this herb. It is felt heavily in the body with a strong tendency for couchlock and sleep. You feel that you could move, but why would you ever want to? On more than one occasion, I have awoken to a half-smoked bowl, and will reluctantly move into bed (I usually wake up 9 hours later)—I always finish bowls. This is really strong smoke, great for insomnia, and also with a great pain-killing ability. The analgesic effects come coupled with the narcotic nature of this strain, and I imagine it is really not far from opiates. This is the stuff for putting elephants down.

Overall: While I’m sure I am biased (as I did “breed” this one myself), I am really impressed by these plants. They seem to be an overall complete package, my only real complaint being that a majority of the phenotypes were on the leafy side. The aromas of all the plants were unusual, nuanced, and complex with notes from all my favorite “tones” of cannabis. My favorites were on the louder and funkier side, and the flavors of the smoke are REALLY some of my favorites! This is super-narcotic mouth-coating Kush weed that is great for all kinds of pain killing, sedation, and winter nights in. This is a great one to enjoy by the fireside! It was also pretty easy to grow, vigorous, with great resin content. I really think it would be worth it to grow out a high number of these to select for an F2 genetic line or two, and look forward to doing so someday. These are an indica-lover’s delight that could replace some of the elite Kushes I’ve smoked, and will be a nostalgic smoke for Hindu and Afghani lovers.

This plant seemed to thrive in the Colorado high desert environment. The biggest threat was probably from cyclists on the road.

Doc D Seeds SHADYNASTY

June 29, 2020 HT/KTP

Origins and Backstory: Originally bred by Doc D Seeds, (who I believe is re-branding under the moniker Magic Spirit Seed Company) the “SHADYNASTY” is a cross of Big Wyrm’s Chem 91 clone, and Frank’s Little Beauties (FLB) This clone (and the strain in general) was selected and became instagram-popular for a bit thanks to @midsmastermike. He was kind enough to give me this clone so I could give it a shot in my garden. I wasn’t aware of what FLB was, and it in turn is a cross using “Thundergun Express,” another cultivar I have never heard of. In any case, @midsmastermike raved about this clone to me enough that I wanted to give it a go.

As a note, I did recently learn that “Frank’s Little Beauties” and “SHADYNASTY” are It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia references. I don’t personally understand them.

Appearance: This plant produces classic cannabis spears, and fairly robust ones at that. This is actually one of the most vigorous plants I have grown in recent memory—I do not recall more vigorous plants than Blue Dream, and SHADYNASTY. Buds stay completely green, even if temperatures get low. The buds are very resinous and frosty, and all of them have a satisfying spearhead shape to them. The calyxes are a bright green while the leaves remain somewhat darker, somewhat diesel-esque. The frost factor definitely gives this herb a high bag appeal.

Aroma: When I first whiff jars, the first thing that comes to mind is baby poop. This one is definitely strong, chemmy funk! The profile overall is very reminiscient of Chemdog. However, there is a much stronger emphasis on sweeter tones, even with hints of dark stone fruit like black cherry. There is a semi-rotten weird funk in this one. I was told by Mike that the aroma was “chocolate-cherry”—I can get hints of these if I look for them, but personally would not have picked out those descriptors. This is really a sweet, rotten, almost overly-ripe garbage smelling strain. It is not quite as putrid as other strains or Chemdog itself, but is nasty and funky enough to get your attention. While I generally favor the nasty, funky strains, the sweeter twist on SHADYNASTY is welcome. The aroma is very appealing, and almost reminds me of some home-made fermented drinks I’ve had on summer days.

Flavor: The flavor follows suit of the aroma. The smoke is sweet but not sugary with mild fruit notes that remind me of dark cherries and stone fruits. There are also some mild chemical and metallic notes, which are typical of the Chem family—particularly Chemdog 4. The smoke is very smooth and goes down easy—not a cougher like Sky Cuddler Double Kush. It is classically-dank, with some sweet dark fruit notes and a prominent baby poop flavor. I am not super into the baby poop thing going on, and I’d say the flavor of SHADYNASTY is above average, 3 out of 5 stars.

Effects: This is happy, warm, and uplifting smoke without sacrificing potency. Each hit is a noticeable uptick in stoniness, but it’s hard to get overwhelmed with this one—the effect is consistently a pleasant, warm, happy smoke. The come up is euphoric and cerebral, mostly felt in the front of the head along with an immediate shift in thinking. This quickly shifts to being felt behind the eyes, and more of a traditional stone settles in over time. The full effect of SHADYNASTY takes some time to manifest, with full peak coming about 20 minutes after smoking. I was joking with a buddy that this weed puts the “fun” in “functional.” The effect is fairly long-lived, and each hit is strong enough that I’ll often leave a bowl half-smoked. I’ll start getting high, and will start going about any given task. Even though this isn’t zippy weed, it can be really motivating while still being satisfyingly strong. Some functional, happy weed just doesn’t have the punch that a lot of smokers look for, but that is certainly not the case with SHADYNASTY. This is about as close to a functional Chemdog as one can get!

Overall: SHADYNASTY is one of the most vigorous plants I’ve grown in memory, and is incredibly easy to keep happy. On top of that, the finished flowers are gorgeous, super-sticky, stinky, and hit both fruity and chemmy notes. The aroma is complex, the effect is borderline-exquisite, and the flavor is above average. I’m not a fan of the baby poop thing going on, but everything else about this plant is remarkable. It’s an incredibly vigorous, and high-yielding plant that puts out A-grade flowers. My only complaints are that the flowering time is extended (ideally you’d go over 70 days) and the baby poop flavor just isn’t my thing. The chemmy aroma with the uplifting effect is an unusual and very welcome combination—most plants that smell definitively of “Chem” are incredibly narcotic and opiate-like. I frequently bring this flower out to impress visiting friends, because it is such a winner in every category, as well as being an enjoyable and appropriate in social settings. I am stoked to have this one on the shelf and it is likely the second or third-best weed I grew in 2019 (LimepopKush x Sky Jaro being #1). It is an interesting an off-the-beaten-path work of breeding, and a great selection by @midsmastermike.